Waiting is hard. In the adoptive process there are several periods of waiting. Whether you are waiting for your home study certification, waiting to find a birth mother, waiting for the baby to arrive, or waiting for the official legal declaration that the adoption is complete, waiting is a part of the process.
But SURPRISE! Waiting isn’t just a part of the adoption process, it’s a part of the parenting process. There will be waiting in doctor’s offices, waiting for developmental milestones, waiting in car pick up lanes, and a million other times of waiting.
Waiting isn’t just a part of the adoption process, it’s a part of the parenting process.
Often, when we are waiting our patience gets stretched thin which can lead to negative thoughts and feelings. The best thing to do during these times is to start waiting with a purpose.
1. Recognize that there is always ways to prepare for the anticipated event.
When waiting to adopt read parenting books, volunteer at a local church nursery to gain experience with infants, exercise, try new kid friendly foods, or train your dog to be baby friendly.
2. Appreciate and utilize your free time.
Once your little miracle arrives sleep, quiet, and lazy Sunday afternoons will greatly reduce for a time. Treasure these moments. Watch episodic movies, sleep in late with your partner, work on a hobby, or take a class. If you fill your waiting time with areas of interest it will relieve stress and take the pressure of of the ONE THING you are waiting on to give you a sense of fulfillment.
3. Know that waiting times can be minutes, moments, or months.
Some waiting times are short and others are longer. Think about how you fill your current waiting times. What do you do when you are stuck in traffic? What do you do when waiting for the doctor? Or even when you are waiting for dinner to be done?
Do you find that you get quickly impatient or are you good at filling your time or treasuring your quiet moments? If you find you are quickly frustrated during times of waiting this is a great time to work on increasing your patience. After all, you will need a lot of it when your blessing arrives.
If you are good at filling short periods of waiting with listening to music, meditating, or other activities expand those activities into your longer times of waiting so that you are waiting with a purpose.
Yes, waiting is hard, but it can be a tremendous time of growth and preparation. In order to make this time as stress free as possible, identify ways to prepare, improve, and appreciate these times. These tools will serve you now and through out the journey ahead.